Officer...I've Been Robbed! Switzerland

I had never been robbed.  Never been violated so brazenly, so openly.  Previously, I frolicked in the streets of the world, innocently eying and buying many trinket, toys and treats.

Until, that is...my sweet reverie was slashed and I traversed the streets of...dun, dUN, DUUUUN...Switzerland.

Was it late at night?  On a suspicious, dark street corner?  Seedy part of town?  Scary?!

No.  Nope.  None of the above.

It was in broad daylight.  On a soft afternoon....and first, at the McDonald's. 

It was a hot afternoon.  Three girls, never ones to prioritize fast food and yet craving something fast, cheap and known.  All enter the lit, crowded Mickey D's and unassumingly, naively begin ordering:  1 chicken sandwich meal, 1 veggie burger and...1 small fries.  And then it happened, out of nowhere, quick as lighting, without a moment to grasp reality and stop the madness.  The Swiss stole from us!  Just took our $35.00 [$35!!] U.S. dollars!!

If you are a masochist and seeking the rush of a victim of monetary violence, Switzerland is your destination of choice. 

No need to grab a hold tight of your purse.  Or put your money in the hotel safe.  No need to carry your valuables in a weird travel pouch that hangs from your neck and requires you to oddly and perversely reach into and under your blouse to procure a Euro.  No, the vendors of this neutral sovereign state, as friendly as they are, just rob you point blank, unassumingly and straight to your face.  They take your money with concealed force and with the sweetest smile.  As if it's normal.  No mask, no gun.  Neither threats nor intimidation.  So smooth and nonchalant was this incessant hold up that I didn't even realize I was in danger.  Just so simple, as if it was no big deal:

Me: "I'd like to buy a chocolate".  The Vendor: "Sure Madame, no problem...that will be $342 euros".
or,
Me: "I'd like that newspaper".  The Vendor: "Suuuure Madame, but of course...that will be $829 euros". 

If only Switzerland was a charity I'd be more philanthropic than Mother Theresa.  Or more boisterously, like the Sultan of Bahrain throwing my money carelessly in the air showering the streets with my 1 Euro bills

Even our paddle boat was branded with the steering wheel of high-society BMW (however, still energized by the [wo]man-power of yours truly and my very impressed friend).

As gorgeous as Switzerland is, no doubt its beauty is awe-inspiring and picture book perfect, never, ever judge this book by its cover.  Cuz the Swiss paperback might just steal all your money leaving you with a a belly-full of trans fat fast food and not even a penny or pence to buy yo-self some acid-reflux cum anxiety-reducin meds.

In Switzerland, beware.
Open your wallet at your own serious financial risk...or even ruin.